Monday, 27 February 2012

Why Stress Yourself ????

Today I had a moment of eureka or something like that

Why do we always stress over stuff ??

For the past two months, I have been going crazy. I am stressed over so much stuff

Let me list a few:

Job: Would I ever get a graduate job...I haven’t graduate yet but I am stressed what happens if I don’t get one...Would I just be at home all day...I hate being idle?

Life Partner: Would I end up alone all the days of my life...I recently just broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years and it doesn’t really help that I am at that age where my parents keep on reminding me not to be left behind on the shelf... More than often I find myself wondering about whom my future husband will be or am I doomed to end up alone

Religious Life: Would I ever have a close relationship with God. It doesn’t not help that all my friends are like firebrand Christians...When I compare myself to my friend I feel like the worst Christian ever. My friends going to prayer meetings and fellowship bi-weekly and they all observe daily devotion and they go to church every Sunday. Whilst me on the other hand I struggle to read my bible once a week and going to church every Sunday is hard

My Family: I come from a polygamous family and we are not exactly keen on showing emotions...Whilst me on the other hand I am the neediest and attention seeking child ever. I like to be reminded at least once a month that I am loved by my family but trust me it doesn’t happen. My day told me sometime a year ago that he loved me and I swear I still have that text message. I even printed it out and hang it over my desk because God knows the next time he is going to tell me that

Friends: I have no friends, as in zero and I am finding myself worrying when I get married who are going to be my guests or who would be on my bridal train if I have no friends. As a result I find myself hanging on to stupid and blood sucking friends. All in the name of trying to gather friends

Career: One of the reasons me and my ex didn’t work put was because he thought I was too driven. If you come from a polygamous family then you will understand my plight...We all used to dance to whatever tune my dad played...If my mom and dad were fighting, he could decide that he wasn’t going to give us school fees money and thankfully my mother had businesses on the side he didn’t know about so she was able to support and provide every time he started his wahala.. My mother always taught me from birth no to depend on any man and too always work for myself and I guess this has affected all my relationships. Because I find it hard to let go and let any man take the reins...I don’t know am I being too driven or sensible...Someone please help

Future: I don’t know what I want to do with my future honestly. I am currently doing masters in EEE but I am not too sure that I wanted to do EEE. I only did it because everyone said if you doing a degree in EEE you can do anything.

Weight: I worry a lot about my weight. I was born with wide hips and thick/thunder thighs. It does not help that the current trend is stick thin girls. I find myself wondering why will anyhow pick me over a lepa. I know that no matter how much I visit the gym my hips will still remain the same...What is a girl to do now?

If I were to list everything all the things I bothered about you would think this girl is just foolish. It is also funny how most of the things I am thinking about are very shallow. People are thinking of where their next meal is going to come for and I here I am thinking of nonsense but to each his own..

After listing all my faults I came to the decision that I am just going to live in the moment. If I was to seriously think about all these things I listed above, I will kill myself with worry and would not achieve anything in my life... I am just going to love myself and live life to the fullest...At least if I were to die I would know I live a fulfilled life and I loved myself even if no one did as opposed to living a miserable and forever moaning life. Why stress myself over things I do not have the power to change...I am going to work hard and hopefully the career and job will work out. I am going to go with the flow and move closer to God, I can’t guarantee that I will pray every day but I doubt God will love me less if I miss one day of prayer.. Body wise I am going to just revel in the body that has given me after all one man’s poison is another man’s gold. I am going to love myself and live life I can’t force family or anyone to love me but I sure as hell can love myself

I read a book that really helped as well; it was titled the Lady, her lover and her lord by T.D. Jakes. I think everywoman should read this book at least once in their lifetime. I have a spare copy so if anyone is interested I don’t mind posting it out as long as you are in the UK, posting anywhere else is long o.if I am in a good mood I just might.

There rant over..Life goes on J




SonyBlues said...

Hello...I feel just like you right now.

Except the fact that I already have my Master degree and a good job that I'm thankful for, but not really (or no more) satisfied with.

In fact, I love my job, but would like to go back to Africa (Cameroon, where I come from or another african country). Cameroon would be my 1st choice as long as Im not married...However, my deeper desire is to go somewhere else, and discover another side of this beautiful continent...But (I think) a 25YO lady, should not go round the world all by herself, leaving old friends (and potential husbands (Who knows) behind; just to start all over again (I don't know if my english is correct lol. I am a french speaker, and live in France since 5 years).

So, here I am, with many questions on my mind, days and nights :

My singleness: Have I missed something/someone in my journey to today? If so, will I get another chance/grace? If not, will I ever meet him somewhere around the corner? I am 25 YO, and seriously, in my dreams, I was at least married, and almost pregnant by this time. Let's say "God knew better".

My career: Am I in the right path? 5 years from now, I hope that I will be doing something else...And I don't want to go back to school. Not yet.

Family: They love me...I love them, But I know that I m not as expressive as I would like to be...There is more to do to show them how much I care

Friends: Lol. Just like you, I don't have friends. I tend to let people go so easily...I tend to move so easily. So, I've lost many friends...Some that I don't regret, and others that I really regret. Sometimes. So I guess that on my part, the wedding party will not be too long. At the moment, I have like 1 close friend, and 1 "less" close friend. And with 4 brothers and no sisters...Who will be my bridesmaids? ?? And who will be my guests if/when I get married QUESTION MARK!

Relation with God: I love my Heavenly Daddy. I want to pray, believe, bless people, do good, stay true, trust, keep the faith, work hard, rest, go to church (again), feel good in church (again), forgive, give, read the scriptures, express and give joy...ALL OVER AGAIN. But right now, I must confess that I am MIA in this part of my life. This part that I know is the only thing that will keep me forever alive, happy and strong. UNBELIEVABLE.

I have heard about this book by TD Jakes, and was contemplating buying it...But unfortunately (for me),I live in France, not in the UK...

May God bless you, and help you to find His ways regarding all these issues on your mind. I pray that you let Him lead you...He knows where the safe place are. I know He will never let you loose your ways.

justsoyouknow said...

I guess being stress is just our body's way telling that we had a lot already. I knew it if i am stressed as i develop a skin rash all over my body and my aggression soars as well.
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LusciousRon said...

You know what? Things always find a way of sorting themselves out!

Don't make your body image an issue. Someone will come along who will love you for you. Start by loving your body and being your best.

About jobs, well you can do anything, The first step is getting the grades. Apply and follow up. You will something. I have been there. It is a constant struggle.

As for not having a life partner, enjoy your life to the maximum. Do the things that you love. Achieve what you can for yourself and you will see where life takes you.

Stop worrying. The world is your oyster!

Paradise said...

Stress has really caused much problems in our health